Finding Sanity During the Holidays
Cozy, grounded tips for navigating joy, stress, and grief during the holidays.
Meaning & Magic in the Holidays
The holiday season is crazy busy with enhanced schedules, timeless rituals, and endless to-do items plaguing every minute of your day. The lights need to be just right, the eggnog needs to be on tap, the family has to be gathered, the cookies have to be baked…it’s nonstop for a full month. It feels like chaos, but this is the stuff of memories and magic that our children will fondly remember.
I am no different. December reminds me of waking up to the smell of something good wafting from the kitchen, accompanied by the comforting “cloc, cloc, cloc” of mom’s spoon against her big green bowl. PJ days that never seem to end, rolling from the bed to the couch, to the kitchen, and back again. Ah – that was indeed THE LIFE!
Remembering these moments of holiday comfort, seasonal joy, and family tradition is what grounds me during the busiest time of year. It’s the fuel keeping me going, creating (or outsourcing) the magic of the season for my own kids.
However, all of this is admittedly a bit of chaotic hot-mess-express. If you’re looking for ways to slow down the madness and survive the holiday season with intention, you’re in the right place.
(By the way…on account of life doing it’s best life-ing, I don’t have a recipe in this post; check my Insta for the latest.)
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When Joy and Grief Share the Same Season
The holidays intensify everything we feel — joy, stress, and sometimes heartbreak.
If you’re like me and missing someone you love this year, know that you’re not alone. Also know that the grief may show up in a variety of ways, so be aware of your thoughts and actions and give yourself as much grace as you can. A few things to note:
- Grief does not mean you’re doing the holidays wrong. It actually means you’re doing it right, cherishing the memories and the magic created by your loved ones’ presence.
- It’s okay to feel all the feelings, whether joy, sadness, longing, or frustration.
- You can honor your loved one in any way you’d like. Maybe lighting a candle helps, or cooking their favorite dish. Or perhaps speaking their name aloud and having a “make believe” conversation with them does the heart good. Trust me, I will NOT judge.
As crazy as it sounds, grief and joy can coexist, and both are welcome during the holidays. Even if you don’t want to feel the pain of loss (trust me, I get it!), sometimes you have to let it run its course in order to get to the happy memories on the other side.
Four Simple Ways to Navigate this Holiday Season
1. Presence > Perfection
You’re the only person who will notice the bows on the tree match the dinner table place setting. In fact, even you will have forgotten about it once next year hits. However, you will remember that holiday when you helped your kid learn to ride their first bike. Presence is intensely more important than perfectin, so close Pinterest and focus on being present. (Did I just call myself out on that one?!)
2. Edit Your To-Do List
There’s only a few instances when a to do list is truly essential. Let’s be real with ourselves and edit down that list. We have to give ourselves permission to simplify for the sake of peace and intentional living.
One thing that helps me is to ask “if ____ doesn’t get done, what’s the absolute worst that will happen?” Or…”I don’t have to do this one item; who do I know who can do it for me?”
3. Schedule Rest on Purpose
This is the hardest one for me, by far; sleep hygiene has never been an area of strength for me. This season, block off one evening each week to slow down and protect it like the most important commitment on your calendar. During that time, do nothing from the “to do list.” Sit – breathe – nap – anything that rests your mind. Also, remember that sleep doesn’t always equal rest. It should, but let’s be real here.
4. Create a Ritual Just for You
Find a tiny ritual that resets you. Perhaps your ritual includes a short walk outside, listening to a playlist while you work, or enjoying the smell of a soothing candle. (I love these from Luxe Aurora Co.) Whatever it takes to reset your thinking and actions in the moment is where you should focus.
Wherever the Season Finds You…
Whether you’re celebrating big or keeping it quiet this year, it is my sincere hope that you find moments of guilt-free joy, unapologetic rest, and ample grace. You are doing enough. You are enough. And your holiday needs you to breathe and be present. You got this!
Stay seasoned,
Shauna
