Why Cutting Back = Freedom
We Can Stop Being Busy All the Time: Why Doing Less Helps You Live More Seasoned
Living a “seasoned” life means noticing the rhythms of the season of life you’re in and aligning your schedule with what makes sense for what you’re living in the moment.
-Live the Seasoned Life
None of us were designed to “do it all.” None of us were designed to be all things to all people. The constant pressure to be everywhere, for everyone, all at once is not only unrealistic — it’s unsustainable. Despite knowing this deep down in our souls, many of us continue to try, in full awareness, that we will fail to live up to our own standard of perfection. We measure our worth in productivity, we sign up for things we don’t have time (or interest) to do, and we say “yes” when we don’t want to let anyone down. And all we really want is to figure out how to stop being busy all the time. Am I right?
This month’s reflection is simple but 100% worth the challenge: how I can cut back on doing and being “all the things” in favor of a more reasonable life schedule? How can I stop being busy all the time?
Let’s talk about why the “cut-back” matters, what it looks like, and how we can all can begin making small changes that free up both precious time and expendable energy.
The Myth of “All the Things”
I LOVE Chaka Khan. She is the ultimate diva and deserves all the flowers and more. However, I am not every woman…it is not all in me. “Every woman” is busy all the time and I, for one, do not want that for my life.
It’s tempting to believe that if we do more, try harder, manage our calendars better, or squeeze a little more into each day, we’ll eventually hit a rhythm where it all fits. But the truth is, life doesn’t work that way. Why is this the case? Well…
- There will always be one more task to do.
- There will always be another invitation, another meeting, another unassuming need that becomes urgent.
- The tide of societal pressure to do all the things and to be all the things will never recede.
I am not every woman. It is not all in me.
-Shauna Rowland (respect to Chaka Khan)
The myth of “all the things” whispers that if you’re not doing it all, you’re failing and falling behind. This is what keeps us busy all the time. Chasing this myth does not lead us to joy, peace, or presence. It instead leads us to sorry, chaos and distraction, and later frustration and insecurity. That’s not what any of us want. We want to know how to stop being busy all the time.
Living a “seasoned” life means rejecting this myth. It means noticing the rhythms of the season of life you’re in and aligning your schedule with what makes sense.
Why Cutting Back Feels So Hard
If you’ve ever promised yourself, “I’ll slow down after this week” but never followed through, you’re not alone. It’s hard to not be busy all the time. Cutting back is hard because:
- We fear disappointing others. Even a necessary “no” feels selfish.
- We attach identity to busyness. Productivity makes us feel valuable, and we sometimes forget that busy doesn’t always mean productive.
- We compare ourselves. Social media shows us people who seem to juggle it all flawlessly, making it easy to forget the intricate staging at play behind the scenes.
- We lack boundaries. When every day is crammed, even small interruptions throw us off balance.
- We fear perception of laziness. Again, being “busy” doesn’t mean that you’re productive. It simply means that you are in motion. And if we want to stop being busy all the time, we have to kick the notion that our busy-ness always signals that we are productive.
Here’s the thing: cutting back (my opposite of busy-ness) is a powerful tool. Cutting back is about wisdom. It’s about recognizing that time and energy are finite, and choosing to invest our time and energy where they matter most. Cutting back is actually a divine luxury that enables us to stop being busy all the time.
The Benefits of a More Reasonable Schedule
Imagine a schedule where:
- You have unrushed time to work out and care for your body.
- You can linger over coffee instead of rushing out the door.
- You say “yes” to what excites you and “no” to what drains you.
- You feel grounded instead of pulled in ten directions.
That’s what happens when you cut back. You make space for rest, creativity, and genuine connection. You regain the space to handle life’s surprises with grace instead of chaos.
5 Practical Steps to Cut Back This Month
Ready to make a shift? Ready to stop being busy all the time? Here are five practical ways you can begin to move toward a more balanced, intentional life schedule:
1. Audit Your Calendar. It’s broken. Look at the next four weeks. Write down everything — work, school, commitments, social plans, errands. Place a star next to items that are mandatory. Circle the ones that bring you energy and joy. Underline the ones that drain you or that you agreed to out of guilt. As you work, answer the following:
- Which of the mandatory items can you outsource to your partner, to a friend, or elsewhere? Are you maximizing any resources to help you? (e.g., starting a carpool, or using online grocery ordering).
- How many energy/joy items do you have circled? Any space to do more of these items?
- Can you gracefully decline the draining activities? If possible, recommend a suitable person to take over at least 50% of the items that drain you.
2. Embrace the Power of No. It’s the shortest yet most difficult sentence to use. “No.” It’s okay if you need to practice it. A simple statement of, “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t commit right now” works wonders. Need help? I got you.
- Remember: every “yes” is a “no” to something else, often your own rest or family time. What are you willing to sacrifice?
- Practice saying no to low-stakes items. If you’re not ready to say No to the invite for PTA President, maybe you say no when the server at the restaurant asks “do you want fries with that?”
- No is not the end of the world, and the task will certainly still be accomplished if you are not the person there to take it on.
3. Create Buffer Time/Days. Block off at least one day (or evening) each week where nothing is scheduled. Use it as a buffer for rest, creativity, or unhurried time with family. Protect it like you would an important appointment.
- A whole day for buffer is nice, but rarely is it realistic. If you can’t dedicate a full day for buffer, choose that time of day for your buffer time, setting aside 2-3 hours during which you have no external commitments or obligations.
- What days of the week are naturally lightest in terms of obligations to others?
- If you have no light days, how can you build in at least one per week?
- Any way to send your kid via carpool to free up space for you to breathe?
- Are the kids overly involved? They might be able to use cutting back too…
- Any time a request for an activity/event comes up during your buffer time, the answer is NO, without exception. And if you have trouble saying no, tell them you’re living the seasoned life. 😊
4. Simplify Daily Routines. Not every dinner needs to be a three-course meal. Not every errand needs to happen today. Create a short list of “bare minimums” — the essentials that keep your household running — and give yourself permission to let the rest wait.
- We all know that “Pinterest-worthy” is highly unrealistic. Train yourself to be okay with “good enough.”
- Comparison is very, very dangerous; keep things in perspective.
- The mom who runs 5 miles/day may struggle with checking her kids’ homework.
- The dad who makes every soccer practice may be drowning in credit card debt.
- The mom with the “Pinterest-worthy” home may be struggling with job insecurity.
- The mom who looks perfectly imperfect at carpool may cry herself to sleep every night.
- The dad with the perfect physique may struggle to connect with his kids at home.
5. Reframe Success. Instead of measuring a day’s success by how much you accomplished, measure it by how present you were. Do you remember the trees you saw during your drive home after work? Were you able to listen when your child told you about their day…the whole time? Can you take five minutes to simply breathe without technology, without distraction? That’s success. If we want to stop being busy all the time, we need to deprioritize the concept of busy-ness as a marker for success.
- Be brutally honest with yourself. Are your expectations realistic? If not, how can you adjust?
- Mentally list 3-5 ways in which you have been present today. Consider using that as a benchmark for every day.
- Check in with yourself when you’re struggling to be present.
- Are you tired? (If so, grab a 15 min powernap.)
- Did you agree to too much today? (If so, focus on critical items today and shift everything else to someone else or tomorrow.)
What Cutting Back Really Looks Like
I suffer from being busy all the time. It’s often hard to “get it right,” but for me, cutting back has looked like:
- Ordering yet another rotisserie chicken on a busy weeknight without guilt.
- Choosing one child’s school volunteer activity instead of three.
- Declining a social event, instead staying home. This is my new favorite habit…maybe to a fault. 😊
- Deciding on long-term goals and saying no to anything that doesn’t fit within those goals.
None of this means that I stop showing up for people I care about or the most important responsibilities. It does, however, mean that I establish and honor my own boundaries unapologetically. Plus it means I trust that showing up as my healthiest, most rested self is much more important than showing up as a ragged version of myself. Being busy all the time is not the business.
Seasonal Living: A Gentle Reminder
September is a turning point. The heat of summer lingers, but the first hints of fall are here — cooler mornings, golden afternoons, pumpkin spice everything all over the place. It’s a season of natural transition, establishing a natural moment to reset and downshift from a “go-go-go” mentality toward a much steadier rhythm. Doesn’t that sound nice?
Take your cue from nature. Plants don’t cling on to every flower, and trees don’t cling to every leaf. They both let go to make room for rest and renewal, and to prep for amazing growth when the season is right. You can, too. Rest and renewal is not lazy. Rest and renewal are the key to not being busy all the time.
Final Reflection
This month, work smarter, not harder. Don’t strive for perfection or productivity at all costs. Strive instead for presence, a reasonable rhythm, and a schedule that makes space for both the work and the wonder of everyday life.
Cutting back isn’t failure. Cutting back is the boundary we need to ensure we have the freedom to choose what matters most. Cutting back is our ticket to stop being busy all the time.
Call to Action
If this reflection resonates with you, I’d love for you to share it with a friend who also needs permission to do less this season. And if you’re looking for a practical way to take one thing off your plate, try this week’s featured recipe: my Mediterranean Rice Bowl — a 30-minute meal that’s nourishing and family-friendly with little cooking required.
May we continue to learn from the lessons that the season is teaching us.
Live Seasoned Always,
Shauna
