It’s MY Success, not YOURS

Get caught up on the first part of this post, published last week. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Already caught up? Cool. Let’s get back to the business of redefining success on our own terms.

Step 3: Use YOUR Definition of Success to Set YOUR Goals

Part 1 of this post was about honestly clarifying what success means to you. We shall call this your vision. The next step is to set goals that align with that vision. Here’s how:

Identify What Truly Matters – Focus on tangible things that bring you fulfillment, not just external validation.

For example: Those who know me personally know that I have a strong attention to detail. This trait exists because I like everything around me to be well thought-out, structured and organized. While this is helpful in most environments, I did not develop this trait to garner the praise of others, even though many find it amazing. In fact, my level of detail can be a curse, tempting others to make requests I’m not interested in handling. I’ve been this way for my entire life…ask my brother.

Create Measurable Goals – Define success in tangible ways, even if it’s unconventional (e.g., “Work only 4 days a week while maintaining a reasonable income of $X/month” or “Next month, read 2 books to help me prioritize mental and physical health without guilt”). Utilize the SMART acronym, creating goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely.

If you haven’t heard of SMART goals or want a tutorial, leave me a comment below.

Celebrate Small Wins – Success isn’t just about the big milestones; it’s also about the journey. Check out my appropriately named blog post for more details here:

Be Open to Change – Your definition of success can evolve, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to grow. Be open to evaluating your progress periodically and adjust as needed. You get to decide.

You know, sometimes our best laid plans fail for reasons beyond our control. When you define your success for yourself, you have the freedom to pivot and adjust based on your unique circumstances. And just like *that*, weight is lifted.

Get back into that notes app.

What are 3 (or more?) goals you have to help you achieve your success? If it seems daunting, try using these prompts (example statements in parenthesis).

1. How do you define success? What does life look like if you are successful? (Example: Success is flexibility. If I’m successful, I can volunteer at my kids’ school once a month and start most days of the week focused on wellness – whether meal prep, meditation, or fitness)
2. What needs to be in place for that success to happen? (Example: I need a sugar daddy/momma so I don’t have to work. I need to look for roles at my job that offer greater schedule flexibility. I also need to hire a trainer/nutritionist to help me stay motivated on my wellness journey.)

By next month, I will find a trainer/nutritionist that offers packages I can reasonably afford.
By next year, I will obtain the training certification I need to move into a more flexible role at work.

(Example goals)

Step 4: Give Yourself Permission to Succeed Differently

Success isn’t just about where you end up—it’s also about how you get there. It’s about making choices that align with your values, not societal expectations. It’s about recognizing that your worth isn’t tied to a title, a paycheck, or a LinkedIn endorsement.

Give yourself permission to:

• Walk away from anything that doesn’t serve you, respectfully and thoughtfully.
• Prioritize your vision and your peace over hustle culture.
• Celebrate your achievements, even if others may not value or understand them.
• Define success in a way that feels right for YOU.

Step 5: Surround Yourself with the Right Support

Redefining success isn’t always easy, especially when the world around you is operating by different rules. Therefore, it’s important to build a community of like-minded people who uplift and inspire you. Seek friends, family, mentors, colleagues…anyone who respects your definition of success and encourages you to stay the course. Have conversations with those on a similar path so you can encourage each other.

Also, however, be aware of anything that could pull you back into your previous mindset. Social media, workplace pressures, and even well-meaning family members can sometimes reinforce the very thing you’re trying to avoid. Stay grounded in your truth and remind yourself why you chose this path.

And when the going gets tough – keep going. You will get discouraged, as it’s easy to miss hearing the validation you used to receive prior to this journey. When (not if) that happens, find a way to ground yourself through healthy conversations with your community, going back and reading your step 1 results from part 1 of this post, reflecting why you started in the first place, and the outcomes you will gain as a result.

Final Thoughts

Redefining success takes courage, and courage is nothing more than doing something even when you are afraid. It means being willing to step outside of what feels safe in order to step into what you know is right. It’s a bold declaration of going after whatever truly nourishes and fills you.

All that said, what’s on your plan for making the shift and taking the leap into your best, most authentic future?

And if you need a reminder: You are already successful. Not because of your titles or anyone’s applause; you are successful because of how you show up and impact the world in your own, authentic way.

How do you define success? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!